Poo Puff Push

Welcome to the Beginning of the End of a Turbulent Decade

(I found this in my drafts section and felt like it was worth posting. I dunno why I didn’t do it in the first place but… I was right about Trump winning and, thankfully, wrong about a violent transition of power. Weird but alright. –Evan, 5/26/2017)


The best thing about Batman and Robin was its Smashing Pumpkins theme song. This video stands as evidence that no one was into that band’s goth phase except Billy Corgan–and the guiltier & nostalgic parts of myself. 

I registered to vote so now I can say something. I basically registered because I’m sick of not saying something. I’m goddamn terrified of November.

I have a side:

I’m voting for Bernie in the primary. If he’s not in the general election, I may defer my vote.

I’ve Got a Bad Feeling About this:

This’ll probably be our first violent transition of power. Or will a police state once rioting occurs no matter who’s elected, declared and Obama remains in power under that?

I’ll riot if Trump winsA lot of People Will. 

I’m gonna wanna at least throw a trash can through a giant pane of glass if that shit happens. Especially since I figure everyone else will be doing it too in my neighborhood. It’ll cancel football games!

Trump Himself: 

No Idea whose interests he has in mind: Who’s the man behind the man behind the man that’s running this? “Who’s that voice on the side of the phone that shakes and rattles his bones? / Could it be the man behind the man behind the man behind the throne?”Run The Jewels, “Lie Cheat Steal”

Hillary is the Machine. 

The Democrats’ version of Romney 2008, who I was pretty convinced was a lizard alien.

Who’s the Man who Feels Behind the Bern? 

Stupid Fucking Predictions: 

No Republican Candidate. Trump Goes Rogue Party. Bernie is Green/Independent. Hillary is Democrat. Or 4 altogether. It’ll probably be true democracy at it’s best.

Bernie will split the vote and Trump will win a la Nader splitting the vote and G.W. winning in 2004. It’s that fucker’s fault the Bush era continued… Which, retroactively, is probably better than any form of a Kerry presidency. Had I been old enough, I woulda voted for Nader truly. Yea, somehow Dubya became the retroactive lesser of two evils.

Fuck Delegates. Just Make a New Party without Their Money.

That’s what I keep figuring someone’s gonna do.



Manhattan Beach. A confrontation I’ll tell you about happened.

Fuck You Omar Mateen

“Sunday’s massacre at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, grimly changed the equation, stirring communal fears and swiftly prompting tighter security at gay pride events. The gunman, identified as Omar Mateen of Fort Pierce, Florida, told his father he had been disturbed by seeing two men kissing in Miami.” AP Story, emphasis added.

This is hate. This is evil incarnate. But what’s wild is that I know in my heart of hearts that the gay community won’t stand for this shit and our gay-straight alliance will grow stronger because of this shithead’s absolutely fucked up actions.

I’m mad about this. It’s so insanely sad and it comes so soon after the San Bernardino shootings and the Paris attacks and the killings in Damascus and every other effed up thing that’s been happening lately. This definitely is the beginning of the end of a turbulent decade.

And it really does change the equation. What the hell do we do now? The issue is now pushed to the forefront and must be addressed by our presidential candidates. How do we fight back against ISIS? Maybe Anonymous can hack their systems and destroy something of theirs.

I’m at an absolute loss so hopefully someone up top knows what’s the best course of action.

We must unite as humans in love.

One thing though, if we start having crazy natural disasters, I might worry that it’s the apocalypse. Because Christ is this unfair to everyone.

Which One?

Rocky Mountain Construction has been on a tear lately.

In Oceanside

I feel compelled to write, so I’m gonna write, goddammit.

I went to Oceanside yesterday on the train. Grey skies, cool air, slow breeze, and red flags. Beaches of stone and the sounds of rock eroding to sand amid the ebbing waves.


That was pretty cool. I took a Lyft to the Red Line, then the Red Line to the Metrolink. I really just wanted to go on a long train ride and spend five hours trapped somewhere completely different. Sometimes it’s only way for me to truly feel free enough to relax. That, until that train comes, there’s no way in hell I can get back to the Valley or my move or my cat or anything.


I decided at 1145 the night before to catch the 8am train to Oceanside. This meant getting up at 545 so I could be to LA Union Station on time. Luckily, some of that sleep dep got taken care of on the train ride down. I crashed in the weirdest position across from a very pretty woman in a blue patterned shirt.


But so, the train arrived in Oceanside at 10am and the only train back left at 330p so I had a good 5 and a half hours to kill getting to know Downtown Oceanside which, luckily, exists because I booked the train ticket down not knowing if there was actually anything around the station to do.

There’s something different about these beaches and the ones in LA–and not that they’re cleaner, that’s mostly a myth. It’s just that beach real estate is so stupid-expensive it tends to attract the silly-rich and, with that, their strange airs and entitlements.

Oceanside, though, is one of the last remaining places in SoCal with mild-to-moderately not-laughably over-priced real estate. So the crowd is a little less weird and uptight about how everything comes out–which is something I can understand: when you’re spending a lot for something that typically costs a little, you want it to be perfect as fuck. Like Starbucks.

But so Downtown Oceanside turns out to be really cool. I meandered through downtown and found a place where surf and military culture are harmoniously enmeshed. There’s an equitable amount of military surplus and surf shops. Such a marriage of differing cultures creates a neat atmosphere in the town–one that’s both lax and obdurate.

I didn’t take a single picture because I was determined to paint the pictures with words. Don’t think so much, just keep typing and thinking and trying…. What else of Oceanside.

I went to the Surf Museum. It’s about 3000 square feet of historic surfboards andwith replicas, artifacts, and skate history intermingled to create a solid $5 investment and a way to spend 30 minutes to an hour, depending on how many little board-annotations you wanna read.

I spent most of my time sipping tasters at the Stone Brewing Beer Garden. It’s this neat this spot to sit around, drink tasty beer, and read a book. That’s at least what I did for a couple hours. Plus another hour at Pier Point Coffee sending emails. The other three hours I basically just spent walking on the beach clearing my mind and enjoying the sun and the peace and the sand in my toes. Rocks eroding to sand.


Here is Your New Blog Post

I never write
So I’m trying something new or different or whatever.
Don’t call it a poem–
I tell you I’m open wide and dangling,
feeling as if poems on blogs are a metonym for pompous cocksuckery.

But who knows.
I do this all the time but never really say nothin’
because I fear embarrassment more than judgment.

So there.

Magic Mountain June 5th

I went to Six Flags and had a pretty killer day. It seems like the park is really on the up and up in terms of cleanliness and quality of food (which is weird, since their practically giving it away at this point and you’d expect it almost to get worse as a result).

I was able to ride most everything a few times and get my $8 worth of locker money paid back in terms of both laps of rides and amount of lockers rented. I’m the type of dude who brings a bag and stores it instead of keeping anything in my pockets. I’ve lost or almost lost too much stuff on rides that I’ve just gotta play it safe anymore. Plus, it’s keeps my glasses safe.

Anyway, here’s some pictures and commentary. We’ll start with the construction then get the general day stuff. There’s a giant hole in the fence near the Riddler’s queue for anyone curious to take a peek themselves next time they’re there. (more…)